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I’ve left school early every day for the past two weeks. I think I’ve almost started to think of my day ending
at noon. After a while I went down to the office and called Mom to get me. I felt bad about it too. I always get this feeling
when I have to leave early. Guilt, I think. Like when I was in private school in elementary. If you didn’t show up to
school for one, I mean one single day it was like: that’s it! End of the world! You are officially an inept, stupid,
useless student and no matter what you do you will never get back those SIX HOURS of education that will go to SOME OTHER
KID. He’ll get into Oxford, and not you.
On my way to
hell and community college, I dropped by student services to get my pass. I wasn't excited about that. I hate going to
student services, you should see the look these ladies give me. Sometimes they give me that look and say, "Do you know
how many classes you've missed altogether?" Sometimes I think about saying "No" and just staring at them
in wonderment as they count off how many classes. I think about saying "Is that a lot?" or "My! I had no idea
it was that many!" But I don't. I just say, "Yes. My pass please?"
I went through the back door so I was standing in the office behind the ladies. I waited because she was helping someone else.
Well, she wasn't so much as helping him as she was rolling her eyes while he recounted prior events. He was talking about
how his teacher kicked him out, he used hand motions and everything. I almost started laughing, but I thought that was entirely
inappropriate.
So I waited until she told him to sit down in the waiting
area till the bell rang. I asked her for my pass, but she said she couldn't write it until my mom called, so I walked
to the waiting area and took a seat. I didn't want to sit to close to the kid lest he start making hand motions and knock
me unconscious. But I thought it would be nice if I sat within talking distance. So I sat one seat away from him and put my
books on the empty seat between us. When I caught a look at him, he looked like he was about to cry. He caught me looking,
and I really didn't want to be rude so I figured I should ask him if he was alright. I mean no one ever says they aren't
fine.
"I'm not. My teacher..." he snarled, he threw his hands up again,
" Urgh! He kicked me out! I was just resting my head, I wasn't sleeping, for godsakes my eyes were wide open!"
He emphasized this by pulling his left eye open with his finger.
"Oh," I said,
not entirely sure what to say. I could tell though, he was one of those people who didn't need you to actually say anything,
they just need you to listen while they rant, so I sat back and said, "Oh, wow", just for emphasis. "I mean
he was looking right at me, and I was looking at him! My eyes were open- wide open!"
"Wide
open?" I repeated, in a fascinated and slightly awed voice. He nodded vigorously, as if we were the only two people in
the world that new what it meant to have your eyeballs showing.
"And he just
kicked me out, and oh, wait, you'll never believed what he did next!" He went
on furiously.
"What, what?" I asked.
"He followed me out into the hallway,
and said, and get this, he said "I KNOW YOU WERE SLEEPING." I mean for christsake!"
I had to bite my lip so hard it nearly bled to keep from laughing at that. He looked so pissed off, he didn't even think
of it as funny. He was flailing his arms again, I just couldn't help myself, I was going to laugh; rudely, inappropriately,
LOUDLY. I turned my rising giggle into a series of crouping coughs. When I emerged from my fit, he was panting with verbal
exertion. He kept muttering disconnected words like "sleeping.." and "Jesus.." and "wide open.."
I started thinking of him sitting in class the next day, telepathically trying to bring this teacher to his knee's for
his SERIOUS MISJUDGEMENT OF NARCOLEPSY, just staring at him, just staring at him with those flailing possessed arms,
saying things like "WIDE OPEN" and "JESUS" So I said to him, I
said "Do you know what you should do?"
He looked up at me with shining eyes,
which I thought was so funny. I'm horrible. I said "Tomorrow, you should go in and stare at him, no, just, just stare.
Keep eye contact, don't loose it. And just like...oh man, it'll really creep him out." I thought I was so funny.
I started laughing.
He thought for a moment and then started laughing too. "That
is, oh my god, I'm gonna do that. He'll flip out."
"He will, he will!" I encouraged, the lady over the counter looked up to see what we were laughing at, and I had
to bury my hand in my mouth to shut up. He kept going on about how that would totally creep his teacher out. "He's
going to think I'm trying to read his mind!" he said choking with mirth. "I'm going to be all like tell
me the answers...ooOooo I'm reading your miiiinnnnddd"
He kind of killed it, but I didn't want to say anything.
I mean would you say anything? He just kept going on too, like he refused to acknowledge that he killed it. He went on cracking
up about how he was going read his mind. How he was going to get all the answers and read his mind, he must of thought he
was a real comedian, because he kept laughing. I did my polite laugh which is basically one giggle and a "huh!"
I did that about five times. Finally I just stopped. I can't be that polite or else I start to get annoyed. He wouldn't
quit though, finally the lady looked over and sensing my distress waved my pass.
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